Didja ever hear tell ‘bout the tenderfoot that came down from Canada and decided he wanted to be a real life cowboy? Well, this here fella moseyed on down from Canada and got himself a job working on the railroad first. I reckon he figured he could out West quicker that way. So’s, he makes his way out to West and picks up on bein’ a buffalo hunter.

That don’t ‘pear to have worked out too good for him, so he picks back up again and heads over to Dodge City. Now, you all done heard tell ‘bout Dodge City. Them folks over there would just as soon shoot ya as look at ya and the only other thing they was interested in at Dodge; if they wasn’t shootin’ that is; was drinkin’ so this here fella decides he might just as well go into the saloon business. Now, you gotta remember this here was back when there was more saloons than anything else in town, so you had better be able to sell some either good rotgut or cheap rotgut if you wanted to make it in the saloon business and you had better have a side business lined up too.

Well; this fella might not have been so good at huntin’ down the buffalos but he had got hisself sorta a reputation for bein’ a good aim and all. From all the accounts I heard, it seems he had done got hisself in a fight with another fella over a gal-ain’t that always the way? Anyway, he was purdy good with a pistol so it didn’t take long for the sheriff to pick up on that fact and I reckon he figured he might as well have this fella on his side ruther than the other side so he hires him on his deputy. Not too bad for a tenderfoot from Canada. Well, next thing you know this tenderfoot has done got hisself elected as sheriff of the whole durned place!

When it come to politics, the West wasn’t much different than most places-in fact it was probably a mite worse. Anyways, after awhile this here fella got hisself voted out of office just like he got hisself voted in office. Now, that was mighty fine with him ‘cus he was ready to move on along anyways. So, he starts travelin’ around and doin’ a little gamblin’; which it turns out he wasn’t half bad at either.

‘long the way he picks up a few jobs here and there; just to keep his aim steady; so to speak and finally winds up down along Tombstone way. Now, I don’t think he was rightly involved in that mess down at the OK Corral; but you just never can tell about this here fella. Anyways, by this time he’s startin’ to get on the wrong side of forty so he figures it’s time to start settlin’ down again.

He takes up with this fancy lady; I hear tell and I don’t know if it was her that put him onto the idea or not; but he up and figures that since he’s seen so much he might as well write about it. So, he starts writin’ and next thing you knew he’s done landed hisself a fancy job in New York City.